Thursday, June 2, 2016

thoughts on adoption.... a guest post


hi friends! we are back home from a whirlwind trip to taiwan where we picked up our two sweet little boys to bring home with us to america.  we are still journeying through the process of settling in as a family of five & i've been sharing sweet little snippets of updates via instagram & snapchat....

[come find me! i'm @marine_parents on both platforms]
during our return flight home, my incredible husband surprised me by handing me my laptop with a word document full of his candid thoughts of our first few days of hands-on adoption experience.  i sat in the middle of two fitfully sleeping children with tears streaming down my face into my tiny plastic tumbler of soda.  they were the exact words i needed to hear at that very exact moment.  as we disembarked, i told him how thankful i was for what he had written & he just shrugged + told me he wrote it as a guest post for my blog.  my eyes nearly popped out of my head hearing that.

without further ado, i present to you, my husband's very first [and probably only] guest blog post.... 

♥ ♥  

Hello, this is Caleb. If you follow April on Instagram then you know at least who I am. I not entirely sure how much you know about me. I do not keep track of every post that she puts online. This is mostly because I am a private person and I do not believe that random people that I do not have any kind of relationship with should know private details about my personal life. That does not mean that I do not support her in everything that she does, because I do. She is an amazing wife and mother to everyone in our family. We would not be where we are spiritually, physically, mentally, or any other state if it was not for her. God placed her in our life and we are beyond blessed. 

You’re probably wondering why I am writing this. I am writing this because I got a “gut feeling” that I should. But what is a gut feeling? I believe that a “gut feeling” is GOD telling me what to do. The same feeling I got when we made the decision to adopt. The feeling that I know what decision I should make because God has told me. But I have this other menacing voice in my head telling me all the negative reasons why I shouldn’t listen to God. There is the fear of the unknown, giving up personal freedoms that seem important, fear of rejection, fear of everything… All that must be realized though, is that if God will not abandon us. He never told us everything would be easy. That there would not be any sacrifice, suffering, pain, fear, tears, sleeplessness. No he has simply told us to do what he says and because he has given us the most precious gift of all. With all of that said, here is the story of you adoption trip. 

I am sitting on a plane next to a four year old Taiwanese boy we just adopted and April is sitting two rows in front of me with a three year old Taiwanese boy we just adopted and our 6 year old biological daughter. We just adopted these boys four days ago, and we are currently on a twelve hour flight from Taiwan to San Fransisco. Then we will catch a flight to home from there after we navigate immigrations and customs. 

We decided to adopt a little over 2 years ago. People always ask why we are adopting. I never really knew how to answer that question. It seems like a weird question. How about because: God told us to and after so many things we have ignored him on we jumped in head first on this one and placed all trust in him. Also because every child needs someone to love them, care for them, teach them, praise them, humble them, plant the spirit of Christ in them. Also because it isn’t always about ME or YOU. It’s about helping other people.

We got to Taiwan after a six and 14 hour consecutive flights. We were tired, but nothing could stop us because of the joy in our hearts. We were finally here to pick up the two boys God had called us to adopt. We didn’t really know what we were getting into. Truth is we didn’t have a clue and were about to get blind sided. We were happy, excited, joyful, a little nervous, but we just wanted to meet these amazing boys.

There is a driver waiting for us at the airport. (He is there because the owner of the apartment we rented had sent him. The apartment got rented because April did it. April did everything for this trip. That isn’t an exaggeration, she really did everything. She did all the fund raising for the adoption too. She really is amazing.) We all fall asleep during the forty five minute trip to the apartment. We get to the apartment, put our bags down and relax for a couple minutes. Then we are off to maybe find a restaurant, but its a little late. No luck with the restaurant, but we find a grocery store. We buy the food items that we know cannot be mistaken by language barriers.

It hasn’t been mentioned to this point but we have also been blessed with some amazing friends accompanying us on this journey. They have adopted from Taiwan twice, so we have some support. They did not arrive on schedule with us because the original departure for them had a mechanical issue. They arrived very late at night with 4 kids, a lot of bags, and surprisingly positive attitudes.

The next day we would all go our separate ways for a couple days. We would go to Tainan and they would go to visit with one of there adopted kids birth mothers. We are going to Tainan because that is where the orphanage is that the boys are from. They were both currently with foster families, but the meetings were are the orphanage. The first day we knew there was a meeting with the foster moms. We were wondering if there would be the opportunity to meet the boys. 

We get to Tainan by way of high speed rail. We walk across the street to our hotel, another amazing set up by April. We then get into a taxi and head towards the orphanage. We have no idea what to expect. The taxi drops us off at the orphanage. We look around and try to figure out which door to go into. A very nice lady come out and leads us up some stairs. We get a couple steps up the stairs and we hear a loud “MOMMY”, as we look to our left we see one of the boys we are adopting in the back seat of a car that is pulling up beside us. April is beyond joyed, I am taken back and very surprised. This seems too good to be true. We head on up the stairs and to the room we are meeting in.



Both boys are eventually there and we are super excited. This is everything we have dreamed about. We spend almost three hours talking to the foster moms. Well actually April talked to the foster moms. I played with the boys at the request of the foster moms. I think they had some reservations about me for some reason. One of the boys did not like my beard, but everything went very well. We went back to our hotel. We found a razor and some shaving cream, and the beard was gone. We would do anything for these boys, just the same as for our daughter. The next day was the big day. We go back to the orphanage to pick up the boys and take them with us. Take them to live with us forever. Exciting right? Well to be honest at this point it is still exciting, but nerve racking as well. The fact that the previous days meeting went so well helped. We still had a hard time sleeping. We were ready for this to be complete. 

We go to the orphanage. We spend a couple hours playing with the boys and talking to foster moms. The time comes for the foster moms to leave. This was emotional, I even cried. Seeing the hurt in their eyes was tough. They knew they couldn’t keep the boys forever but they still grew attached in the time they did have them. I must say they did a very good job preparing the boys, because they did surprisingly well. Shortly after the foster moms leave we pack up all the boys belongings and hop in a cab. 
We are headed back to Taipei via the high speed rail. The cab and the train ride were amazing. Everyone is happy. Smiles, hugs, kisses, tears of joys, jumping up and down, you name it there is joy everywhere. A couple hours later we get off the high speed train and navigate our way through the city back to the apartment. We decided to stop at McDonalds for dinner. Can’t go wrong, can we? Everybody gets the same food for ease of ordering. We need to get back to the apartment...

Everyone is almost finished and then it happens. One of the boys just melts. He now realizes he is with people he doesn’t know. People who don’t speak his language. People who he is not comfortable with. He is screaming, I mean LOUD. What is he screaming? We have no idea. We know it is not good. We know he misses his foster mom. We immediately throw all of our trash away and exit McDonalds with the hopes of not causing a scene. We accomplished exiting McDonalds. The scene part though…

Here we are in Taiwan, two American adults, one American child, two Taiwanese children (one screaming loudly), and a couple suit cases. We are trying to comfort him, nothing works. He just keeps screaming. People are now gravitating to us. Is he screaming that we have kidnapped him? I hope not, I really do. A crowd starts to build around us. A cop shows up. We provide a piece of paper to him, explaining our adoption, that is printed in mandarin. He doesn’t really care, he is actually kind of rude. We are wondering what is going to happen. Eventually a second cop shows up. He speaks english. We explain the situations. He calms our son down by talking to him in mandarin. We are back on the train!

We get to the apartment without too much fanfare. This is where everything sinks in. The boys are screaming. They won't take off backpacks or shoes, they won’t sit, eat, drink, sleep, or anything except cry. We try to get them to bed. No luck. We close the door to our bedroom. Here we are, our biological daughter laid down and immediately fell asleep midst the overwhelming loud screaming of our two adopted sons. April is crying. I feel like I should cry. No way to comfort the boys. It honestly feels like we have made the completely wrong decision.

As I am sitting there, in that out of control room, I have another “gut feeling” that this is not the wrong decision. This is part of the process, the plan that God has set us out on. It’s not supposed to be easy, simple, fast, or positive along the way. God will lead us through some dark times to get to sunny times. The important thing to know is that he is with us and for us. He has placed others in our presence. Through him all things can be done. That moment was when I truly embraced this adventure.

The days since have been tough. Each day has provided us with more hope and joy. The boys are becoming more comfortable and trusting with us each day. We could not be happier as a family and could not be more joyed to serve such a great God. The days ahead will have tough moments no doubt. The fact that I was able to type this on the plane, relatively un-interupted is amazing.

Have a blessed day, Caleb


2 comments:

  1. What a mighty man of Valor you have Ms April! What a wonderful journey you have ahead of you....both of you have been groomed for this very house and will accomplish all that you set your hand to. What a precious family you have!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brought tears to my eyes... thankful for your husband's perspective! I will share it with my husband...as we are finishing our home study to adopt from China. Thank you for your transparency!

    ReplyDelete